


Death Come Take Me

by Silence_is_Bliss



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Short Story, like half a page, like really short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silence_is_Bliss/pseuds/Silence_is_Bliss
Summary: Taako makes a lot of jokes, most of them nothing more than that. But when he’s faced with his own punchline, how will he react? Probably about how you’re expecting him to.





	Death Come Take Me

Taako kicked his feet up onto his desk and scanned through the DMs on his social networking app of choice, Telestone. He immediately navigated to his latest message from his sister.  
this_girl_is_on_fire: Oi, Taako, brother of mine, my biggest fan. Will you do me a flavor?  
taakofromtv: that depends on how much gold you have available to you at this very moment  
this_girl_is_on_fire: oh my gods  
taakofromtv: Maybe we can agree on down payments  
this_girl_is_on_fire: How has no one killed you yet?  
taakofromtv: That’sa god question  
taakofromtv: *good  
taakofromtv: But Someone should hop to it I’m not getting any deader here.  
this_girl_is_on_fire: No one will kill you. Because I’ll kill them first. I have to be the last face you see.  
taakofromtv: Let me know when k? Does next Tuesday work for you?  
Taako’s ears twitched at a new alert from bumblr, a bee themed social media website that Taako was oddly popular on. He really only used it to message Barry though. Sure enough, a message from Barry popped up.  
Barry Bee Bluejeans: Lup says she’s gonna kill you.  
Taako: Tell her to get on over here.  
Taako: I don’t care how, but death can come take me.  
*Barry Bee Bluejeans is typing*  
Taako waited for a response from Barry. He always took the longest time to respond with checking all the grammar and what not. As he was waiting, a new alert popped up on Telestone. He went to go check Lup’s message, but it wasn’t Lup who had messaged him. It was a message from a user going by “Scythes and Roses.”  
Scythes-And-Roses: Be careful what you wish for Taako Taaco.  
Taakofromtv: agsisnahusdjbsagsvsgscsfsgddgab, is that supposed to be ominous or cliche??  
“A little bit of both I suppose.”  
Taako froze as someone spoke behind him. They had a horribly fake British accent and very uncomfortable “I don’t want to be here” undertones in his voice.  
“Ummm.” Taako pulled his feet off his desk and turned around to see a handsome man, dressed up in a entirely black suit and holding a scythe like it was a holy symbol, “Hale and well met, my dude.”  
The man tilted his head to the side, a small grin pulling at his lips, “Nice to meet you, Taako. I’m Kr-“  
“I don’t remember giving my name.”  
“Well, but like- I’m a supernatural force and like-“  
“But it’s still rude.”  
The man glanced down and muttered very quietly, “Right. My apologies.” Before clearing his throat and continuing, “I’m Kravitz, a gr-“  
“You’re forgiven,” Taako smirked.  
Kravitz blinked, “Right yes, thank you. But as I was saying-“  
“No problem.”  
“Oh my god, please. Let me say what I was gonna say.”  
Taako waved his hand dismissively, “Oh right, of course, go on.”  
Kravitz straightened his posture and spoke a little louder, “I am Kravitz, a grim reaper for the Raven Qu-“  
Taako turned his head towards his computer when a little alert went off, “Oh sorry, let me check that real quick.”  
He looked like he might cry as he was ignored once more, “orinotherwordsI’mdeathandI’mheretotakeyouasyouwished,” he muttered.  
“You can just ask me out on a date you know,” Taako remarked without turning around.  
“What?! No, I’m here to teach you to cut that “death come and take me” shit right out.”  
“Okay,” Taako nodded as he stood, “I think I understand. Let me try to edit, okay?”  
Kravitz nodded uncertainly.  
“Death come and take me. Out on a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story was based off a writing prompt, posted by the tumblr blog @writing-prompt-s  
> I don’t have it on hand at the moment  
> But it was along the lines of “On several platforms, you constantly say Death come take me. One day death actually comes to tell you to knock that shit off.”


End file.
